“Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate but through being the right mate.”
  ~Barnett R. Brickner.

Marriage should be based on patience, passion and prayer.


Marriage also called matrimony or wedlock, is a socially or ritually recognized union or legal contract between spouses that establishes right and obligations between them, their children and their in-laws.

   Marriage is an intimate and complementing union between a man and a woman in which the two become one physically, in the whole of life.
   The purpose of marriage is to reflect the relationship of God and in service to him. The relational aspect of God’s image is reflected in the union of male and female in ‘one flesh’ or ‘one body’.
   This union with sexual differences portrays various aspects of God’s image: same nature, equal members, intimate relationship, common purpose and distinct personalities with different role involving authority and submission.
Like the Trinity, The Father leads, The Son submits to the Father, and The Holy spirit submits to both The Father and The Son. However, all three are fully and equally deity. Likewise, male and female in the marriage relationship are of the same nature and essence, intimate in relationship, common in purpose but distinct personalities with different roles: the Husband (the head) leads and the Wife submits to his leadership.



Love will lead you on the road to a healthy marriage. It is not a guarantee that it can lead and keep you in the game and help keep you on the road to a healthy marriage.
    Marriages are test of our emotional and life skills. Since most of us have little knowledge about these skills, many marriages, including those that are base in love, are a continual struggle and they often fall apart.


   There is no crystal answer to What a healthy marriage is.
A healthy marriage must have these characteristics or signs in common:

1) RESPECT: In a healthy marriage each spouse should respect all aspects of the other spouse.

2) HONESTY: There must be no secrets in a healthy marriage.

3) TRUST: Honesty is the basis for trust. “Trust is earned, it never a right.”

4) QUALITY SEX: The closeness, the intimacy and the connection must be effective.

5) APPRECIATION: Learn to appreciate each other’s efforts. No matter how little.

6) PATIENCE: This ties in with respect.

7) COMMUNICATION: Learn to communicate effectively with each other. Never lose communication, it weaken relationships.

8)PRAYER: Pray together, a family that prays together stays together. Practice some form of spiritual connection together.

9) SOLUTION TO PROBLEMS: Solve family and individual problems together.

10) FUN: Have fun together… Take a trip to some fun beautiful places together. Keep the love bond strong and effective. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

11) Spend time and connect with each other:  knowing on a deeper level, the connection between each other. This comes with hard work and time.

12) Above all, show your love for each other in front of the kids: this is to let them know mommy and daddy love each other, letting them feel secure while showing them what to expect from their future spouse.


Why I think I’m not ready for marriage:
This is happening somewhere in Africa.
     Living in a generation where marriage is a business, a fun act or an unserious relationship, has made me look on the other side with no interest for marriage.
Growing up in a society where marriages are abused,  taken granted. A marriage, where couples are like Tom and Jerry…. Fighting, quarreling, killing, cheating etc.
  I wake up every morning, seeing a beautiful day, with my same old thoughts ringing out with questions like: how will my mirrage be? Who am I going to be with? Who is my future partner?………
Due to everything I’ve seen, heard and witness in other marriages, I get scared because every day comes with a different shocking news about wedded couples. Either they’re separated,  about to be divorced or fighting till death. It’s so surprising seeing those lovely couples who shared so much love are now divorced or one has been beaten to death, or their children being traumatized due to the family problems  or a childless family where the Wife is being blamed and called a witch….. Etc
  The fear of experiencing marriage pain is what I’m afraid of most… Will he change and turn in to a future monster?
Will his love always be there?
Will he be faithful?
Will he cheat and lie?
How long can I be able to endure if worse happens?

   People get married today and less than a year, they all be seeking for a divorce and I ask “why get married in the first place “? There are so many broken marriages out here in Africa and the children are the ones suffering and paying the price.

My message to the married ones especially married women. This is what I have to say: 
As a wife, as a mother of the house, whatever you permit at the beginning of your marriage is what stays through the marriage. As a wife you have to mold a good, respectful home… Make your husband: a partner, a friend, a best friend, a lover, a playmate, a brother, a father, a fun mate, a work mate, a house mate, a baby, a child, a neighbor, a favorite, a secret keeper, most especially your everything.

No marriage is meant to be broken for the holy scripture says “what God has joined together let no man or woman separate.”
  God bless your marriage
  God bless your husband
  God bless your wife
  God bless your children
  God bless you!!! Amen.

From : Vellystopper
Barnett R Brickner
Ashley Robertson.

E-mail~  vellystopper@gmail.com


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